Paper Dolls

by Ribbon Road

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about

Five of these songs were written by Brenda especially for a project
we were involved in with Rachel Pain of Newcastle University,
looking into trauma associated with domestic violence.
Brenda and Rachel worked together with a women's group at My
Sisters Place in Middlesbrough, England over a two month period.
The women are survivors of domestic abuse and the songs were
inspired by them and their stories.
We also used four previously written songs during the sessions to
inspire deeper conversation.

A special thanks to all at My Sisters Place for kindly making room
for us and to the Paper Dolls group who have shared their lives so
generously, braved the odds and told the truth. Also to Ejaye who
watched over everyone with such care and understanding and to
Rachel for her trust and friendship.

credits

released September 28, 2018

Brenda Heslop - Vocals, guitar
Geoff heslop - Vocals, instruments
Jill Heslop - Vocals, accordion
Anna Heslop - Piano

Produced and arranged by Geoff Heslop
Recorded at Shipyard Studios, Northumberland
Sleeve Painting by Geoff Heslop

All Songs - words and music by Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)

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all rights reserved

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Ribbon Road UK

Ribbon Road are:

Brenda Heslop
Jill Heslop
Geoff Heslop

For the last 26 years, Brenda Heslop has been one of the undiscovered talents of songwriting. Only now is she starting to get the attention she has so long deserved, with singers taking up her lovely songs and spreading the word.
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Track Name: Paper Dolls
PAPER DOLLS

Beaten by the world, shattered in the wind
Just like a wounded bird with broken paper wings
And though she cries alone with no-one there to see
There are many like her, just like you and me

Chorus
Paper dolls, holding hands
Hang together, try to stand
Paper dolls do not cry
Hang together, stay alive

Crushed in smothered dreams, pushed beyond believing
Smashed to smithereens, someone always leaving
Always to be trusted, always to be kind
She never was forgiven, never was so blind

Chorus
Paper dolls, holding hands
Hang together, try to stand
Paper dolls do not cry
Hang together, stay alive

Blown away on beaches, stretched within her mind
Pulled by pretty speeches till the next time
Hiding in the bruises that never leave a mark
Wishing she could lose it and stay there in the dark

Bitten by the words, ruined by the meaning
Every time it hurts, with every ruined feeling
And though she cries alone with no-one there to see
There are many like her, just like you and me

Chorus
Paper dolls, holding hands
Hang together, try to stand
Paper dolls do not cry
Hang together, stay alive

Copyright: Words and Music – Brenda Heslop (2009 Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Round and Round
ROUND AND ROUND

I take back my heart
I take back my life
You tore it all up
You broke me in pieces
So I’ll take my leave
Now I don’t believe
Your punishment lies
And you proved deceitful

I loved you then
You told me it would be better
When I asked when
You only gave me this broken old record
Going round and round and round and round again

I’ll take back my arms
My body and soul
I carry the scars
Where I learned you hate me
And I’ll leave the keys
You wouldn’t let me
So I’m running away
‘Cos you won’t believe me








I loved you then
You told me it would be better
When I asked when
You only gave me this broken old record
Going round and round and round and round again


I’ll take back myself
Whoever she is
Somebody will know
And you won’t be part of it
Won’t be too soon
If I never see you
Just leave me alone
The end of my world is

I loved you then
You told me it would be better
When I asked when
You only gave me this broken old record
Going round and round and round and round again


I loved you then
You told me it would be better
When I asked when
You only gave me this broken old record
Going round and round and round and round
round and round and round and round
round and round and round
This is the end
Track Name: It Comes Visiting
IT COMES VISITING

It comes visiting
It comes visiting
And it tears through your mind like a storm
And it’s critical
Yes, it’s critical
That you’re rescued and taken from harm
But the blame is there
And your name is there
And the boxes are ticking against you
It comes visiting
It comes visiting
And there’s nothing to do or to say

It comes calling
It comes calling
And it sneaks up and hits from behind
And you’re falling
You’re just falling
And the stairs are too heavy to climb
And you dare not move
‘Cos it can’t be proved
And it happened a long time ago
It comes calling
It comes calling
I don’t tell ‘cos I already know


It comes back to me
It comes back to me
Like a penny that’s bad and not worth it
And it laughs at me
How it laughs at me
Still blocking the way and I curse it
Try to get away
Break the chains today
Just a step away I could be different
It comes back to me
It comes back to me
And I live in the ruins alone

It comes under me
It comes under me
Like an earthquake is shaking me bones
And I’m wondering
I’m left wondering
Is there anywhere I could call home
When the fear is walls
And you lose it all
And because you’re a woman they use it
It comes under me
It comes under me
Like a wave washing my legs away

It comes over me
It comes over me
Like a cloud shadows over the land
it’s all over me
it’s all over me
and I’m running as fast as I can
but it calls me back
calls the kettle black
and I’m empty and dead in the water
it comes over me, it’s all over me
it comes over me, it’s all over me
and a shadow rests over my heart

Words and Music - Brenda Heslop 2018 (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: It Couldn't Last
IT COULDN’T LAST

When love is gone, when love has left you
It’s gone for good, I’ll come and get you through it
Don’t be strong, don’t think you should
It couldn’t last, it’s gone for good

The price was high, I tried to pay
To make the hurting go away
I was quick on my feet until today
It couldn’t last, it’s gone away

Chorus
And all the promises, the days and nights
I see it now, put out the light
All I wanted, all that I dreamed
Love didn’t answer or it wasn’t what it seemed

When love is gone your heart stops beating
You don’t belong, you lose the feeling for it
An empty place without the faces
It couldn’t last and now it’s gone

Chorus
And all the promises, the days and nights
I see it now, put out the light
And all the talk and all the smiles
Left me to walk alone and I’ve run right out of miles

When love is gone, don’t look back
It’s gone for good. the good is passed
Pack up your things and move along
It couldn’t last and now it’s gone

Chorus
And all the promises, the days and nights
I see it now, put out the light
And all the summer-times have come around
And fallen fast with the leaves onto the ground

When love is gone, when love has left you
It’s gone for good, I’ll come and get you through it
Don’t be strong, don’t think you should
It couldn’t last, it’s gone for good


Words and Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Living With A Stranger
LIVING WITH A STRANGER

I was living with a stranger
From the very first day
Living there in danger
In the very worst way
I had my dreams then
And I believed then
All I could see was the best
My crime is silence
I didn’t shine the light
I should’ve cried out
I should’ve told the truth
That very first day

I was living amongst strangers
From the very first day
Jealousy commanded
That hard religious way
It drove their drinking
Their twisted thinking
It wore me to the bone
My crime is silence
I didn’t shine the light
I should’ve cried out
I should’ve told the truth
That very first day



I was living with a stranger
From the very first day
The sky too high above me
The wind blew me away
They bled my life blood
The good ground where I stood
They took my children and left the blame
My crime is silence
I didn’t shine the light
I should’ve cried out
I should’ve told the truth
That very first day

I was living with a stranger
From the very first day
Living there in danger
In the very worst way
He set me up high
So he could take it all
I didn’t know then
How far he’d make me fall
My crime is silence
I didn’t shine the light
I should’ve cried out
I should’ve told the truth
But I was living with a stranger
From the very first day

Words abd Music by Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Suddenly
SUDDENLY

I’m walking by the sea and look
The sun is out today
I’ve got some clothes that I don’t want
Except to give away
And suddenly a picture in the shop
My body turns to water and I stop
A horror film is running in me head
And I remember wishing I was dead

Chorus
It breaks your heart, it breaks your heart
It brings you down, yer stood apart
And in the day it’s always night
And in the sun there is no light
It breaks your heart

I’m wandering looking at a church
I got here on me bike
It’s peaceful and the leaves are blowing
All the things I like
And then I see a couple walking by
Still very much in love, it’s in their eyes
And I am down and crawling on my knees
When I remember no-one’s loving me

Chorus
It breaks your heart, it breaks your heart
It brings you down, yer stood apart
And in the day it’s always night
And in the sun there is no light
It breaks your heart

I start the day, I’m worried
It’s the way it’s always been
I cannot do right for the wrong
And now I don’t believe
I’m always thinking forward in me head
Where everything has happened that I dread
And when I get to where I’m going, someday
I hope somebody smiles at me in someday

Chorus
It breaks your heart, it breaks your heart
It brings you down, yer stood apart
And in the day it’s always night
And in the sun there is no light
It breaks your heart, it breaks your heart

I’m riding on a bus
To where I study when I can
This is not me country, not who I really am
I see a man who’s talking on the phone
He’s laughing, you can see he’s not alone
And I don’t know how many years I’ve cried
Living where I don’t belong and I’m not wanted

Chorus
It breaks your heart, it breaks your heart
It brings you down, yer stood apart
And in the day it’s always night
And in the sun there is no light
It breaks your heart

It breaks your heart, it breaks your heart
It brings you down, yer stood apart
And in the day it’s always night
And in the sun there is no light
It breaks your heart, it breaks your heart
It breaks your heart, it breaks your heart
It breaks your heart, it breaks your heart
It breaks your heart


Words and Music by Brenda Heslop 2018 (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Do Unto Others
DO UNTO OTHERS

Do unto others as I have done
Do unto others ‘cos I have won
And I will always feel the pain
And I am constantly under the rain
And I am crying now for you
Do unto others as I do

There is much hate in the world
The taking of a little girl
And what can we do, held apart
The stripping down of hands and hearts
But if we are to be believed
We feel the loss, we’re free to grieve

Do unto others as I have done
Do unto others ‘cos I have won
And I will always hear the cry
And catch the words as they fly by
And I am crying now for you
Do unto others as I do








There are bruises in her eyes
And fluttering birds caged in her mind
And when each fist is made of stone
And prison walls are called a home
We can feel and understand
We’ll be there to hold her hand

Do unto others as I have done
Do unto others ‘cos I have won
And I will tell the truth again
And I am hurt by women and men
And I am crying now for you
Do unto others as I do

When she’s walking in the town
Hearing voices to shout her down
Still to be haunted in the street
Not knowing what or who she’ll meet
When the shaking starts to come
She needs to know she’s not alone

Do unto others as I have done
Do unto others ‘cos I have won
And I will always know the dark
And I will blow upon the spark
And I am crying now for you
Do unto others as I do

There is much hate in the world

Words and Music by Brenda Heslop 2018 (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: When The Bad Is Passed
WHEN THE BAD IS PASSED

When the bad is passed
When the cuts are bleeding
When the bruises come and you lose the feeling
When your mind goes numb
And the words won’t come
And you can’t get up cos you’re kneeling

When the bad is passed
And the hurricane’s gone
It’s a question asked from a bitten tongue
And the blue-black eye
Is wondering why
Do they say it’s time for healing

Chorus
And oh, you hope that somebody’ll come
That sometime soon the paying will be done
And oh, you hope that somebody’ll turn
And rest will come

When the bad is passed
And the world’s gone mad
It’s the wildest dream you ever had
And you can’t get it straight
‘cos it’s just too late
To find the deeper meaning

When the bad is passed
And it all goes still
And the music’s stopped ‘cos of somebody’s will
And the ache in your arms
Been up your back
It’s where you fell and it all fell flat


Chorus
And oh, you hope that somebody’ll come
That sometime soon the paying will be done
And oh, you hope that somebody’ll turn
And rest will come

When the bad is passed
And the trust has left
You see with your eyes and you know what’s best
But you still can’t move
And make the break
You’ve lost your love and the love was fake

When the bad is passed
And you can’t think how
It led to this, to do this now
And the sadness covers you
Like a cloak
And the truth runs down your face and throat

Chorus
And oh, you hope that somebody’ll come
That sometime soon the paying will be done
And oh, you hope that somebody’ll come
That sometime soon the paying will be done
And oh, you wish that somebody’ll turn
And rest will come
Rest will come

Words and Music by Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: No-one Crying Over Me
NO-ONE CRYING OVER ME

I can’t cry and I should cry
Over what’s never been
There should be tears for all the years
Look what they’ve done to me
And in the fading light I’m letting go tonight
No-one’s crying over me

Covered up, I’ve covered up
To hide my shame
And it’s broken me, I’m broken
Choking inside these chains
Fear is all there is, just like it always is
No-one’s crying over me

And as I let go
Can’t help but see it
Just like a picture painted on the wall
And I am feeling
God help me, leaving
No-one crying, painted on the wall






Beautiful, I was beautiful
But it’s all gone by
And who would know, who wants to know
After all this time
All that I could be, staring back to see
No-one’s crying over me

And as I let go
Can’t help but see it
Just like a picture painted on the wall
And I am feeling
God help me, leaving
No-one crying, painted on the wall

I’ve said it all, it all before
No-one was listening
Reached for the sky to hide the lie
Nobody’s listening
Now I don’t believe, why would I believe
No-one’s crying over me

No-one’s crying over me

Words and Music by Brenda Heslop 2018 (Ribbon Road Music)

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