The Mortgaged Heart

by Ribbon Road

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1.
03:34
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03:27
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04:11
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04:07
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03:31
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03:07
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02:52

credits

released August 4, 1994

Brenda Heslop - Vocals, guitar
Geoff Heslop - Vocals, guitar
Paul Flush - Keyboards
Rod Clements - Bass, slide guitar
Paul Smith - Drums

Produced by Geoff Heslop
Engineered by Mickey Sweeney
Sleeve paintings by Geoff Heslop
Sleeve layout by brownbull.com

All songs written by Brenda Heslop
Published by Ribbon Road Music

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all rights reserved

about

Ribbon Road UK

Ribbon Road are:

Brenda Heslop
Jill Heslop
Geoff Heslop

For the last 20 years, Brenda Heslop has been one of the undiscovered talents of songwriting. Only now is she starting to get the attention she has so long deserved, with singers taking up her lovely songs and spreading the word.
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Track Name: Far Away
Far away, far away, far away from here
far away, far away from trouble and tears
smiling in the rain, disregarding pain
far away, far away, I was silenced that way

Chorus
And I look forward to that day
when there's no more running away
and I can travel on an eagle's wing
there'll be no more trouble that I can bring
and I will give my hand to you
and you will hold my heart
and then I'll be in heaven
and this won't break you apart

Far away, far away, soaring to the sky
far away, far away, I'm wasting time
far away, far away, my heart sails on
far away, far away, I'm going home

Far away, far away, we'll know what's true
far away, far away, I'll say one for you
far away, far away, there's a place for you
far away, far away, the light's coming through

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Is It True?
Watery graves cover watery faces
they haunt the slaty sea
and the wild white horses toss the waves
touching me, soothing me

Windily changing, the soft sand remaining
of the bones that are beaten to the floor
feel the pulse that rages
and the sun that still persuades us on
to look for more

Chorus
Boys stand eager by the sandy shore
reaching out in innocence
with all their open doors
surely it's not too late,
O the way is paved
could you still save me

Time and tide will wait for no man
but this one's gonna hold on if he can
for all the wildest dreams,
a sickening for things to come
I want to run

Watery graves are calling me to mine
but I'm not satisfied to go
and the wild white horses
are turning in the tide, leaving me
I let the waters flow

Eyes streaming with salty tears
washing away the wasted years
sorry for the pain I now see
could you still save me

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Every Hour
Every hour that counts for me
every flower that sets me free
is victimised in solitude
& social-sided attitude
a final bid for gratitude
a kinder thought for me

Every heart that beats for me
every dream that dreams for me
tattered souls have fallen down
the wind blows where it will
fairer will the morning be
when troubled breath is stilled

Chorus
Misguided innocence, throw it all away
headline incidents, the paper boat sailed away
twisted ignorance, the savaged heart runs red
spoken images of dreams that were left for dead

Every kiss given to me
every wish that's been wished for me
has fallen over stony ground
and pushed good nature round and round
if you leave now I won't be found
bleeding on my knees

Every time you hold me close
every time I fall and choke
and now the serenade has gone
and all the costumes all feel wrong
let me change, it won't take long
if you can wait I'll come

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: The Mortgaged Heart
Every morning the frost lies on the window
every day the silence is too long
I sit here in my bedroom
waiting for someone to take me home
Every night the cold rests on my head
as I lie defeated on my bed
I reach for another blanket
and a book that's already been read

Chorus
They took away my reason
they took away my life
they took away my understanding
now I'm a mother and a wife

Every week is the same as the one before
hold on to the jacket behind the door
the arms are empty, but the smell
makes me feel just out of reach of hell
I hear the voices in the kitchen
eye-witness to the bitter, clashing sword
back against the wall without flinching
they cut my heart with every loving word

Every morning the frost lies on the window
every day the sentence is the same
I sit here whenever the wind blows
the only thing that's changed is my name

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: How Have You Loved
Empty arms and forgiven charms
don't run away, I'll do you no harm
bottle tops on a string keep the birds from landing
I've been out in the garden of dreams
and everything is beautiful
holding hands with the man of my dreams
and it was only beautiful

Aching arms in the dead of night
keep me awake and restless
holding out on a woman's right, only building resentment
a need to fill the understated
and bring an end to the breath that's bated
break the silence of gritted teeth
I wonder what lies underneath

O my soul does take everything
that my heart will break
why won't the tears that fall
make it all go away, make it all go away

Listless arms, side by side
never calm, just still
potted glory on the window sill
only promise photogenic thrill
the sun will rain and the clouds will pour
there's always less when I want more
it must have been hell when I was born
that's when a mother's life is torn

Open arms but a guarded mind
open promises, the conditioned kin
christian soldiers must march along
never mind who they're standing on
hugging close in a bundle of nerves
when they get to heaven they'll get their desert
the candle that burns misses by miles
they lose me in well-meaning smiles

Clang goes the cymbal
and bang goes the drum
off with your coat and the deed is done
the harp strings have broken,
the crowds gather round
but there aren't any angels
when their trumpets sound

Empty arms and forgiven charm
don't run away and I'll do you no harm
bottle tops on a string keep the birds from landing

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Baby Blue
Rock a bye baby, sweet baby blue
I have been dreaming, dreaming of you
bright paper clouds and all you should be
rock a bye goodbye, remember me

Rock a bye baby, sweet baby blue
painful recall of me losing you
ignorant smiles saying go make it right
rock a bye sweetheart, kiss me goodnight

Chorus
And all of the lullabies that I couldn't sing
and all of the closeness that I couldn't bring
is breaking inside, 'cause I tried to hide
rock a bye blue, I'm missing you

Rock a bye baby, sweet baby blue
sometimes it seems that I'm leaving you
but I'll be there somewhere for you to be found
rock a bye maybe next time around

Rock a bye baby, will you perceive
that this way's the right way and I must believe
just let me hold you one more time
rock a bye baby, you once were mine

Rock a bye baby, sweet baby blue
I have been dreaming, dreaming of you
bright paper clouds and all you should be
rock a bye goodbye, remember me

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: I Bring You Love
I bring you love, it's all I have to give
I'll send it on the wind and you will freely live
I close my eyes and I can see you reaching out for me
I can hear you laughing, a simple joy to me

I wish you love in everything you do
let lonely flee away and let it all come true
close your eyes and let it fall, broken to the floor
turn away, don't pick it up, you don't need it anymore

I'll catch the tears when they begin to fall
wash away the fear, wash away it all
surviving on self-denial, only taking crumbs
don't be frightened anymore, 'cos Daddy's coming home

I want your love, come build a bridge for me
precious as the pearl, free from hate and greed
I'll fill your arms with flowers, I'll kiss you when you cry
I can hear you singing, I'll hold you through the night

I'll catch the dreams as they begin to fade
to me you're always beautiful, don't turn away the change
hiding in your self-destruction, firing all the guns
don't be frightened anymore, Daddy's gonna come

I bring you love, it's all I have to give
I'll send it on the wind and you will freely live
I close my eyes and I can see you reaching out for me
I can hear you laughing, I can hear you singing

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Beautiful
Crying years, healing tears
I've met with you today
light the way, no more to say
you've drawn me near, I've given way

Love didn't judge, didn't put a price on my head
you didn't hold your grudges
you helped me down from all I did and said
you gave me hands to heal my aching head

Chorus
O, I never heard you come
O, and now the love is done
and I feel beautiful

Fearful eyes, defensive lies
put me down in silence
but you didn't mind, you were only ever kind
you're my strong alliance

And today I can look them in the eye
this way my heart doesn't have to die
you make me feel like a queen
it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen

Starved and low, a hungry soul
you gave me love when there was none
left out in the cold, a hundred years old
a new face for the old one
And I feel beautiful, so beautiful
so beautiful, now the love is done

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Never New 'Til Now
Rainbows shimmer over fields of ice
who could want for more
misty awnings so very nice
where I go you've gone before
I never knew there was beauty in a storm
or wonder in the truth
I never saw anyone so cut to the core
and still give as the sword went through

Rosebud eager to force and bloom
headstrong, bloody and red
dancers spin me around the room
I just can't lie still and play dead
I never found silver in the early morning dew
or gold in a waxy comb
I never broke the wave until tempted to the shore
and sweet charity, well she left home

Break me, take me, love me for evermore
hate me, but it's late for me
each nerve-end is rubbing me raw

Racing rain on the window pane
my horse won't stay on the track
bracing bodies that won't stay the same
I pray that this won't break my back
A starfish slow-motion on an unhappy tide
plenty of salt but no tears have been cried
brown pitted seaweed left on the sand
severed forever in fantasy land

Calm me, be kind to me
come stand by my side
don't harm me when you're blind to me
don't make me stay behind

I never knew there was beauty in a storm
or wonder in the truth
never saw anyone so cut to the core
and still give as the sword went through

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Behing The Wall
Behind the wall of tears there's a little girl
behind the woman's fears there's a little girl
emotion sways,
there doesn't seem to be another way to go
it's all I know

Chorus
Maybe there's an answer to my heart
maybe if I'm good and play my part
and when I'm feeling scared
I try to remember you're still there
I'm not brave but I believe you came behind the wall

Behind the wall of tears is a lonely child
behind the woman's fears is a lonely child
emotion sway,
they've all got to have their way
they don't bear the blows, they just give me away

When I have a heart that can love
when I have a heart that can give
someday you will see all that I can be
and you will be glad that you came with me
behind the walls

Behind the wall of tears is a face
behind the woman's fears there's a place
emotion sway,
it all got in the way
now there's nothing left to do
but tell it all to you

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Let It Go
Let it go baby, let it go
you will never change the wind
let it go baby, let it go
you will never be the one you want to be
for I'm the one who's calling you
and you're the one who's falling into my arms
let it go baby, let it go
let the children's dream pass by
let me know baby, let me know
so that I can hold you when you need to cry

Let it go baby, let it go
you will never stop the rain
let it go baby, let it go
you will never stem the pain
for I'm the one who's calling you
and you're the one who's falling into my arms
let it go baby, let it go
let the woman's dream begin to grow
let me know baby, let me know
so that I can hold you when you need to cry

Let it go baby, let it go
let the castle tumble down
le it go baby, let it go
let the walls be broken down
for I'm the one who's calling you
and you're the one who's falling into my arms
let it go baby, let it go
let the clouds go rushing by
let me know baby, let me know
so that I can hold you when you need me
I can hold you when you need to
I can hold you when you need to cry

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: Open The Window
Open the window, draw away the blind
O let the wind blow through your heart and mind
looking for the happy-ever-after makes me cry
every shadow bruises me with every given smile
pretty clothes and kisses never came to play
cardboard hearts and paper planes the order of the day

Chorus
Tell me the story of how it's gonna be
of goodness and glory and children on their mother's knee
arms for their shoulders and stars to light the way
tell me how it's gonna be, starting from today

Open the window, open up your eyes
and know wherever you go the spirit never dies
stepping over broken glass, tortured by the thorn
made to take the first as last when your hand's already torn
angels sing you lullabies on pillows soft and warm
winter geese and butterflies stay the raging storm

Open the window, throw it open wide
river roads of passion have never yet made it right
chains and bolts and finger-bowls on table-cloths of white
silence made immaculate still haunt me in the night
jewels made out of summertime so easily fall away
diamonds are forever, but they won't make us stay

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)
Track Name: You And Me
Love isn't what I thought it would be
you and me together
love isn't what I felt it should be
stormy weather
hope on an island of dreams
a road for tomorrow
love isn't what I wanted from you
you and me, you and me together

A kiss isn't what I thought it would be
you and me together
a kiss isn't what I felt it should be
stormy weather
outcast and shipwrecked at sea
it was only a kiss that saved me
a kiss isn't what I wanted from you
you and me, you and me together

An ache in my heart, right from the start
I need your arms around me, surround me

This isn't what I thought it would be
you and me together
this isn't what I felt it should be
stormy weather
all I ever wanted held in the mirror
just look at me
this isn't what I wanted from you
you and me, you and me together

© Words & Music - Brenda Heslop (Ribbon Road Music)